corset-whore

so i'm nearing my 17th birthday here and even as i say that i feel old. and ive been shoved very quickly into this thing that people call "adult life" or real life if you prefer. I'm taking 4 classes/16 units at college right now and I work 3 days a week at a miserable fucking grocery store. along with balancing that, i'm trying to manage a social life and a boyfriend. and guess what? it's hard. society sees and treats me as an adult even though i legally am not, and though i don't have bills to pay quite yet, this real life thing sucks. i see my coworkers that are the same age or older and they laugh in the face of life and i so badly wi

now i've made some observations on life lately. and maybe im just a pessimist, or maybe i've seen clearly what society itself has hidden behind smoke mirrors and crystal balls. or maybe?... we were supposed to look? maybe smoke and mirrors are put up to temp us; to lure us into submission and sin by first creation and then curiosity. it seems there is always a constant struggle, or contradiction if you prefer, between what you are, and what you are supposed to be. you see, by textbook standards i should be a perfectly normal female, but i am not. because if i were, would i be rambling on about irrational and irrelevent information? i think n